This, really, is what interests me about Skepticism: the personal level.
Because, if I’m going to write this blog honestly, make it a true exploration, well, I have to be honest. Up front. It’s not a major bit of honesty, since it basically amounts to saying, “yo, I’m human,” but in many ways it’s one of the hardest kinds of honesty.
See, thing is, I’ve often been an idiot.
I say that in some amount of jest, but seriously, too. I am a human being, and thus prone to all the usual human failings of mind. I am curious, and always, as I noted last time, have that “No, but really?” question on my lips. When it comes to the actual answering of that question, though, well…
Checkered history, that.
Many of us, after all, call bullshit at various times in our lives. Many of us, in fact, often find ourselves wondering, asking questions, not taking things at face value. But that’s never enough. Without the proper tools to evaluate truth claims, you’re pretty much a ship at the mercy of the currents you find yourself in.
That’s me. Intellectually, emotionally, you name it. I could question, but lacked the kind of rigor needed to have the best chance at finding true answers (or the best stab at true, given the data). Intellectually, I have at various times dabbled with religion, goofy new age ideas. I was vegan for a while, and in that time drank more than a little Koolaid, if you know what I mean. All of that could be summed up with one simple idea: I was quick to question an idea, and just as quick to embrace the cool sounding alternative. And then do so again and again, ad nauseum. Seldom embracing the simple stance of “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.”
Ideas as mood or fashion, I guess you could call it, born more of desire for certainty than for truth. As a result, a lot of flailing around, never getting closer to some kind of truth, simply because there was no method or discipline to the search.
That’s what science is, after all. It’s imperfect because we are imperfect, but it works because it provides a method to separate the wheat from the chaff. It’s slow, and the steps always incomplete. We never have the Truth, but only the best approximation of the moment. A look at the advance of science, though, shows that those approximations have indeed been getting better.
There’s a deeply personal level to this, too, because as I’ve discussed on the old blog, I have a life long history with depression and anxiety. My mental health issues cloud a lot of my thinking, and my dealing with them has been prone to the same kind of scattershot, thoughtless searching for answers.
So there’s the other intention for this blog (and, perhaps, a bit of the humor behind its sort of ironic title). If this is a skeptic’s blog, it’s the blog of a deeply, deeply imperfect skeptic. A blog of someone who loves skepticism, embraces it, and sucks at it.
Or, you know, the blog of a human being. I want to chronicle that a bit, the personal journey, the imperfect attempts. The partial victories. So the sacred cows will often be my own. The assumptions I don’t question enough. And if I do this right — and I hope anyone reading will hold me to the fire on this — phrases like “I don’t know” will come up a lot.
Because I don’t, really. Know, that is. I am an ignorant man about so many things, including many basic life skills (thanks to the aforementioned mental health issues). There’s no shame in that. It’s just another part of the adventure, if I face the fact honestly.
So that’s what we’re going to be up to, these parts. Trying to question everything, but also trying to learn to question productively. The going will be slow, because part of my journey is my return to school, and this semester Physics and Calculus will be riding my ass. But I hope it will be a fun and useful journey.
